A lady who asked me to keep her anonymous sent me this story.
She said:
I am 32 years old, and I honestly don't know what to do anymore.
I dated this man for 10 years.
Yes, you read that correctly—10 whole years.
We met when we were much younger, and with time, he became more than just my boyfriend. He became my best friend, my companion and someone I genuinely believed I would spend the rest of my life with.
He wasn't perfect. In fact, he cheated on me several times. There were moments when I cried because of him, moments when I questioned myself and wondered if I was wasting my time. But somehow, I always found a reason to forgive him.
I stayed with him through thick and thin.
When he had nothing, I encouraged him. When he needed clothes, I sometimes used my own money to buy or sew clothes for him. I made sure he looked good. I bought him shoes. I supported him emotionally and financially whenever I could.
I thought we were building a future together.
Then, about two years ago, everything changed.
One day, he sat me down and told me something I never expected to hear.
He said, ‘I don't think this relationship is going to work anymore. I've found someone else, and I'm going to marry her.’
I remember staring at him because I couldn't understand what I was hearing.
After ten years?
Ten years of loving him, forgiving him, supporting him and standing beside him, and he could simply wake up one morning and decide that he had found someone else?
I was completely broken.
I cried until I had no more tears. I couldn't eat properly for days. I barely slept. There were nights I would stare at my phone hoping he would call and tell me it was all a mistake.
But he never did.
So eventually, I told myself I had to move on.
I started picking myself up slowly. I stopped checking on him. I stopped asking about him. I stopped expecting him to come back.
Then, in September 2024, he got married.
I thought I was prepared for it, but I wasn't.
What made it even more painful was that he sent me pictures and videos from his wedding.
I don't know why he did that.
Maybe he wanted me to see it. Maybe he wanted to hurt me. Maybe he didn't even think about how I would feel.
But when I watched those videos and saw him standing beside another woman, dressed in wedding clothes and smiling, something inside me broke all over again.
That night, I couldn't sleep.
It felt like someone had reopened a wound that had just started healing.
After that, something changed inside me.
I stopped believing in love the way I used to. I became suspicious of men. I stopped allowing myself to get emotionally attached because I kept thinking, ‘What if he eventually leaves too?’
I remained single and focused on my life.
Then, two weeks ago, something happened that I never expected.
I attended my friend's wedding. The bride was someone I knew very well, but I didn't know my ex knew the groom.
I was standing somewhere at the venue when I heard someone call my name.
I turned around.
It was him.
For a few seconds, we just stared at each other.
He looked different.
Not like the man I remembered.
He looked tired, unkempt and troubled.
He came closer and asked how I was doing.
I smiled and told him, ‘I'm perfectly fine.’
Then I asked about him.
He paused.
He said, ‘I'm going through a lot.’
At first, I didn't want to ask further, but curiosity got the better of me. We eventually found a quieter place away from the loud music and sat down to talk.
That's when he started telling me everything.
He said he had never had peace since he got married.
Then he revealed something I never knew.
He said the woman he married got pregnant, and her family threatened him and pressured him to marry their daughter.
According to him, that was the reason he left me.
Then he started complaining about his wife.
He said she is lazy.
He said she couldn't cook.
He said she is dirty.
He complained about their relationship and even talked about their private life.
I sat there quietly listening.
The strange thing was that while he was talking, I wasn't angry anymore.
I was just looking at him.
This was the same man I had cried over.
The same man I once begged God to give me.
The same man I used to spend my own money trying to make look good.
But now, he was sitting in front of me looking completely miserable.
At some point, I actually felt sorry for him.
But another part of me quietly said, ‘You deserve this.’
After telling me everything, he looked at me and said, ‘I want you back.’
I didn't respond.
He moved closer and started reminding me of the good times we had together.
Then he started crying.
He knelt down in front of me and begged me.
He said if I agreed to marry him, he would divorce his wife and marry me.
I couldn't believe what I was hearing.
He has a wife.
He has two children.
And he was asking me to become the reason their family would break apart.
I told him I couldn't do it.
I told him that whatever problems existed in his marriage, they were not my responsibility.
But he wouldn't stop.
Since that day, he has been calling me constantly.
Sometimes he comes to my shop just to beg me.
He tells me he still loves me.
He tells me he made a mistake.
He tells me he regrets leaving me.
And honestly, that is the hardest part.
Because the truth is, I still love him too.
Maybe that's why I'm afraid.
I'm afraid that if he keeps coming around, keeps apologizing and keeps reminding me of the ten years we spent together, I might eventually give in.
Some of my friends are even telling me to reconsider.
They say, ‘After all, another woman took him from you, so why can't you take him back?’
But I don't think that is right.
I don't want to become the woman who destroys another woman's marriage.
At the same time, I keep asking myself whether I'm being foolish by letting go of a man I still love.
I spent ten years with this man.
What if this is actually my second chance?
What if he genuinely regrets what he did?
But what if I'm only being emotional because I still have feelings for him?
I honestly don't know what to do.
Please, I need advice.
Should I give the man I spent ten years loving another chance, even if it means he has to leave his wife?
Or should I walk away completely and finally allow myself to heal?
Because right now, my heart is saying one thing, but my conscience is saying another.
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